Magick of Spiders

Most people have had at least one person who was close to them pass on. Death is a part of life and as humans, currently at least, this is something generally accepted. There are a lot of beliefs about what happens after life, but there’s also a question of how death relates to magick. How do we accept that life does indeed end when we practice magick? How do we accept the ideas that we can’t protect everyone, and that sometimes we may want to bring death to others, and so many other questions while walking our paths?

First, this isn’t about ‘Death Magick’ although that is a topic I’m considering for the future. Second, if you haven’t checked out Knowing Before Death Knocks, it has some relevant information which might help you understand where this post is coming from. It has four quick stories about my experiences with knowing death was coming. Maybe it can help you identify your own premonitions and see that even when we are magickal beings, death knocks on every door at least once and as much like betrayal as it may feel, postponing it is not only up to you.

So, as laya and saqra, hechizeros, curanderos, witches, sorcerers, fortune-tellers, and simply spiritual people how do we accept death…our own and of course that of others, especially when we’ve known it was coming? It’s by coming to understand that death is natural.

While we may believe ourselves to be anywhere from supreme creator beings to lowly sleeping humans slowly withering away, there’s a divine truth that these bodies we inhabit are born, live, and die. Anyone who negates this must believe that the human body is capable of being indestructible and can survive absolutely every potential circumstance in every possible sequence. So that said, let’s talk death and magick!

Saving Lives

I’ll open with something a spirit told me late one night when I wasn’t planning on doing magick. It was after a death. Buer told me that we cannot bind people to life; sometimes it is simply time for someone to pass on and would be cruel to keep them here.

Because we are all human, we must all pass on from living in this reality. As such, there will be a time for each and every one of us when no amount of magick—be it ours or another’s—will keep these hearts pumping and blood flowing. Although we can heal ourselves and others through magick, and although it may seem at times as though magick grants us miracles, we all die.

Buer told me he could not save someone whose time it was to die, who knew he was dying, who wanted to die. Furcalor told me he would protect those he loves but sometimes death comes knocking and the door must be opened. While these spirits have both helped me heal and protect my loved ones, they have both also been honest with me in the face of death.

I couldn’t understand once why when I called out and asked for a life to be saved the ritual felt incomplete. It was only after, late into the night when the whispers began that I understood death had come to pass. Saving lives through magick may very well exist, but it will not always work.

Accepting Death

Another intersection of death and magick is the acceptance of your own death. While this might not seem very magickal, the idea is that understanding nature and therefore the nature of humanity is intertwined with magick.

As someone who once wanted to die, accepting death has never been a struggle for me in the way I know it is for others. That said, I’ve wondered like many others what happens after death. Truthfully, I haven’t even decided what I think I happens entirely and I’m not sure if or when I’ll come to that decision.

But acceptance isn’t about knowing and feeling comfortable with afterlife dreams, gossip, and hopes. It’s more about accepting that death isn’t something you can just sidestep with magick. When you learn that the human journey involves and heavily relies upon death coming, acceptance becomes easier. While magick can give us so much in life and many believe after life, that doesn’t mean we can get rid of being who we are through it.

What a Demon Told Me

Nearly in tears and feeling alone beyond bounds one night, a demon whispered in my ear. Speaking of when I should feel ready to die, he said, “Go to the sea and plead, my child. When you find yourself wishing for death to be at last yours, go to the sea and plead.” That night, I listened to many words in this soft and unwavering tone. It told me that until I was ready I would be safe. It told me that when I was ready, to plead my case.

Magick has much more to do with death than simple acceptance or protection wards. I’m certainly not the first person to hear things like this (or to know it without hearing the words), and I know I am far from the last. Aside from the raw power of the words I heard that night and the obvious ways that they affected me, they also spotlighted how much agency we have in our lives.

I had an aunt pass away when I was younger and my dad told me that she was “ready to go.” She was deeply spiritual and an amazing healer. Her presence was a blessing to my life and even if we never got to talk about magick together, the older I grow the more I understand those words. We pass on when we are ready to move on. And whether we know it or not, I firmly believe that we decide when that is.

When I was told to “go to the sea and plead,” I was alarmed. I felt it was too much weight to bear. Then I considered that I could put it off almost eternally. But the truth is, at this moment in time, I believe I will end up at the sea one day looking out at swelling waves throwing hag stones into the salty water with my fingertips wet. And I believe that I will ask for death when I’m ready for it to find me, really find me.

To Stay Silent or Scream?

There is a burden that we bear when we know what comes. It is often noted as a “curse” of premonition, of understanding the course events will take. And it is the burden of choosing silence or loudness.

Are you meant to keep what you know in the dark? Are you meant to scream it from rooftops and at parties, shout the future to family and friends and strangers alike? It would be less of a burden if the answer were clear. But I have yet to find someone who finds clarity in this restriction.

I keep it to myself. Others would hold my burden with me if they knew. But if they were free before of it, how do I justify placing this weight upon their hearts?

I have been told by someone close to me that I should never tell him when death lingers in the nearby future awaiting someone. He does not understand the pain of knowing. He cannot. And so I’ve found it’s best to just wait even if it means I know and he doesn’t and even if it means feeling the fear, anger, and pain of biting my tongue until the event comes to pass.

People can claim to understand what they have not experienced, what they are incapable of experiencing. But the human experience is not one meant for souls crowded into bodies, although we may all come from the same place, our experiences here are distinct.

If I have never killed I cannot know what a killer feels in that moment, if I have never given birth I cannot know that, and if I have never known someone was going to die, I cannot know that either. Just because we love someone, does not mean we can understand their sufferings simply because we have also suffered in some other (however slight or grand) different way.

So to those who feel the future and to those who do not yet, have patience and be kind with yourself.