Shadows & Spiders

spider on net under light

always remember, the light cast onto us is neither the beginning nor the end

Tonight, while sitting here working I encountered a spider. It seems thinner than most of the others I’ve found inside. So I offered it water, but the spider continued on its way without drinking.

It was at first the spider’s shadow I saw along the wall. Having turned on a nightlight, the small spider seemed bigger than most spiders of its kind are and I went over to observe it. Finding the spider uninterested in me, and wondering if it was attracted to the light or heat, I left it to be.

A few hours later, still sitting at the computer I caught sight of something dust-like just out of the corner of my right eye. Leaning back, since the particle was not moving or flowing down like they usually do, I caught glimpse of the spider’s body and legs. I moved over several inches and blew before ducking incase I’d blown to hard and the spider was slated to end up on my face next.

After regaining its stability, the spider walked back up its thin thread. Wanting to make sure it got all the way up and wouldn’t soon be in my hair or on my desk in a danger zone of moving objects, I turned on the flashlight from my phone and watched it ascend.

As the spider climbed, I watched as it grew closer and closer to its less and less distorted shadow on the ceiling. As its paws touched down (up?) I noticed it had again become one with its shadow. Moving together seamlessly and constantly in contact. I wondered what lesson this might teach about my own life, my own shadow(s), and the distance created between me and it.

But as I reconsidered this viewpoint, I realized that the spider and its shadow had indeed not merged. They were still separated by some layer. The spider remaining on this side of the world and the shadow forever attached to something beyond, something intangible but nevertheless able to be interfered with. The human, at a whim, can cause the disappearance of the spider’s shadow from being visible, can wave a hand between the spider and light source and obscure it, cover it within a different shadow.

After stepping its way across a small stretch of cieling, which for the spider seems quite a greater distance, again, the spider began its slow and meticulous descent downwards. Twice it paused for some length of time. The first likely halfway down, and the second time just a foot off the ground. Trust. The spider I see now had so much trust in this delicate strand of webbing. And the fear of being swept off it or the web detaching from its anchor point never once stopped it from accomplishing its goal.

Because I am warmer than the walls, the light of screen is attractive, or the desk and my seated body is higher than the floorboards…I do not know why first the spider came down and likely would have landed on my shoulder. I am thankful for its foresight in avoiding my hair though. I doubt it saw a likeness in the blown glass spider of my straw or in the finely painted white spider of my phone case.

Instead, I watched as it crawled along the floor, finally on the ground and off the cieling. And as it crawled back up a foot to tie something (a flurry of dust? a knot?) into its thin strand of safety, and then back down again. It takes spiders quite a bit to make webbing, so I’ve left it hanging down like a firepole from my cieling to the ground in the hopes that the spider will wander back over to it, and that I won’t walk into it opening my window or straightening out the stained glass moon with its pair of spiders next time.

spider on net under light

It is not that we are the shadow, nor that the shadow is us, but that together we are the self and the dark reflection (casting) of that self.

Paraphrased (Dantalion & Sitri)

Spiritual Parasites (Creation)

🕸🕸🕷 Creating Spider Parasites 🕷🕸🕸

As you may have guessed, I have a deep admiration for and fascination with spiders. And that is exactly why I chose to make a few spider parasite creatures that roam around the astral and act as an addition to my wards and protection systems. Because they are made by me, I cannot give information as to how exactly they were created or what exactly their purpose/function is. To do so would give the public a pretty large glimpse into my protection system, but I think parasite creation is pretty fun and fascinating, so I wanted to post about it. Obviously spiders aren’t right for everyone, but the metrics to parasite creation can be applied to all kinds of designs regardless.

Why Parasites?

I first began considering parasite creation after an attack I received as backlash from a well-sized group working. I wanted an offensive warding system that didn’t only rely on boundaries, barriers, and “spiked edges.” Of course, I considered servitors for a moment in addition to egregores, and spirits that I am close with. But somehow, these fell short. I wanted to rely on myself and servitors are not something I have a large interest in, especially given the stories of servitors being taken over by others and used against their creators/users.

A few months after the height of this issue, I scanned a few people, got my first really good look at parasitic creatures, and even plucked off a parasite or two. This was also about the time I started hearing more about archon parasites. These conversations and moments made me consider how truly lacking I was in knowledge and practical experiences regarding parasites. In conjunction with my ward predicament, I decided to consider creating a parasite. After all, from what I had seen they seemed pretty competent at their jobs, made for the purpose I was aspiring toward, and not impossible to form.

It was not right away, but after letting the thought sit for a month, I decided I was sure I wanted to create parasitic beings, nurture them for a while, and then let them go as gifts to people who decided it was worth the risk to poke at my energy, space, and whatever else I decide is mine (including a couple other people and my possessions). In June 2022, I spent some time making my very first parasites and now, in July 2022, two have already been gifted to others.

Design

When first I decided I wanted to create spider-form parasites, I thought a lot about the ways I have interacted with spiders and the ways I have observed them. This informed about 60% of their creation. A couple days before I made the first batch, I watched a spider torment, wrap up, eat, fight, wrap up, and eat some more a beetle for over an hour and a half. I don’t often seek out spiders feeding, nor do I pit creatures against each other. But nature offered me a show, and I was willing to watch and learn.

Designing an astral creature, like a servitor for example, should be done with care and thought. Although they are more malleable than perhaps a human child might be in terms of form and use, that does not mean that they should be tweaked at every whim of the creator. Doing that will overall weaken a creature because each ‘edit’ takes away an original programming and in a sense confuses the creature (regardless of state-of-sentience) about itself.

This is the next step after deciding that you want to create a parasitic entity and it is, from my perspective, the most important step. The design is everything this creature will do, can do, and the reasons behind every action (and inaction) it will make. When designing a creature, there is the external to consider, of course. But there is also the layout of the creature’s behaviors, “food” source, timeline, abilities, rationale if you give it that ability, and more.

In my experience, I go as light as possible on the details and let the creature make a vast majority of its own choices. While this can be counterproductive and dangerous to those inexperienced or lacking in abilities, I find it works the best. The more reign I hand over, the less I am responsible for and the more real, fleshy, and individual my creations become. I don’t want them tethered to me, and I don’t want them to need me, so it is best to give them minimal programming and let them figure out the rest.

With regard to external, or appearance, I make only a general shape and behavior pattern. The appearance might consist of something like, more than 5 eyes, 8 legs, shadowy, and wavy. The external behaviors would be similar to, fast movements, eyes scan around quickly and often, stays near me until attaches to another person.

The make-up of the creature’s “mind,” or instincts is different. This should govern how the creature makes decisions if it is allowed to. If your creature, or potential/hypothetical creature, is not allowed to make decisions, then this is what instincts will drive it. Make sure to consider a long list of potential scenarios when you are creating this aspect of your creature(s) and consider how the creature will respond in potential situations that you have not considered. Alternatively, if you don’t want it to make its own choices, you can program the creature to “consult you” or something else as a means of avoiding issues when the creature gets stuck without a program for a situation that comes up.

Here are some things you might consider.

  • Food source (it needs energy from somewhere)
  • Shape-shifting (does it look the same all the time?)
  • Location (where on the astral is this living?)
  • Predator behaviors (it is a parasite after all)
  • Defensive behaviors (it might be confronted at some point)
  • Conditions on prey (humans are probably the prey, who can they approach, feed from, not approach, etc.)

As an example when I created the first batch of my spider parasites, I quickly decided I didn’t want to be their main food source. Their main design was to attach to people getting too close to me and my things, which means I didn’t want to be feeding them while they were attached to another person. Because spiders are real-world creatures, I took some time to observe their habits. I watched closely one day as a spider wrapped up a beetle and sank its fangs in deep. I watched again when the beetle “awoke,” struggled, and was again subdued and made a meal. Later that evening was when I made design plans for my parasites to lay in wait for prey, observe for just a moment, attach quickly, and sink their fangs in fast.

Due to these creations still existing very similarly to the design plans I made, I won’t detail their feeding as it is very specifically engineered and I’m possessive of my work.

After food-source and consumption has been handled, which is arguably the most important determinant in how long a parasitic creation can last, you should decide where you want the creature to “live.” Mine stay in a web around me & connecting to things “mine” until someone bumps into it and then one will simply attach to them. This is where I considered “behaviors” because the parasite (now that it has a food source, it’s a parasite) is either doing the behavior of patrolling, behaving in a way that allows it to switch to another person, or behaving in accordance with its other specific programming (parasitic in nature). These designs made, details should be thought of. In my case, I have a few people I would never want a parasite grabbing onto or hurting so I named them. This is just one example of details that can really make a difference.

Lastly, at least in my creations, comes the physical appearance. I gave my creatures a lot of room to decide their appearances and ability to shift into and between certain forms depending on their behaviors and desires (like “hungry” or “watching for prey”). Because I wanted “spider parasites” I made them look like large spiders. 2-3 feet or about a meter for reference. I wanted several eyes on each and 8 legs because those are tell-tale signs of a spider. Additionally, I wanted to give them some space to move around so I granted them a shadow-y shape-shifter capability which allows them to fulfill their duties better. Appearance is important to creations because it gives them a formal and well-constructed sense of self, it also lets you imagine them and fine-tune them which is super important.

Creation

After designs are done, or at least mostly done, comes the creation of your parasite creature(s). My first suggestion is remember that they are not pets and they are not familiars; don’t get too close to them. Parasites are not something most people want to keep around just for fun because of their maintenance and their ability to be harmful. When you are creating them, create them with pure intention and from your power or power/energy from a source you know well. You get one shot per parasite, or batch, so push everything into it.

Creation, although I think fast and simple, can be broken down into a few parts. At the end if you haven’t already understood why, you’ll see why I think it isn’t the real challenge of making a parasite entity. These parts include getting into the right space (mental, energetic, physical), bringing your (nearly) complete design to the forefront of your mind, and forcing it into being. Then, you can poke and prod at your new creations for a little while before just trusting them–yourself–that they will act as programmed.

What goes into getting into the right space? First, pick a location that works well for you. Not too loud, not too quiet, not too crowded or empty. Wherever you do your best magick, mediation, prophesizing, or whatever else. Go be there or somewhere that has a similar atmosphere. If that means on the city bus, so be it. If it means in bed, laying on the cement floor, hugging a tree, or having sex…doesn’t matter just be somewhere where you feel yourself and in control of your energy and intentions. Both of these make up your power.

After you have a location, next is the headspace you need to get into. If you’ve made a servitor I imagine this is similar. Otherwise, that place from where you read cards, or commune with the dead. Be there. If you haven’t done any of these things, there’s this “place” that a person can be put into or walk into. It’s a bit deep in the back of the mind, it’s like sinking down into a deep body of water and not fighting after realizing you can’t breathe. Some of you, I know, feel something (very) different but it has the same effect.

If you are lost by what I mean or don’t know what headspace I’m referencing, please check out Dropping Mind & “That” State in Magick. It will give some insight into this state of mind and some pointers on how to get there.

Now, right physical location and right mental location! Consider that design in as much detail as possible. I start with the “inside” and work my way out from food-source to behaviors to appearance but you can pick whatever order works best for you. Create this being, weave it into existence. There’s no need to rush, but it also shouldn’t take forever.

All that’s left now is pushing that image, that creation, into it’s own individual creature. Use your energy, your intention, your will, your power. And “force” it into being. If it’s well designed, then this shouldn’t be a challenge at all. It should be just waiting for the word to let it “walk off the page.” And here is where you just trust yourself. Feel it come into being, feel that link between creator and creation. It’s done! It’s created! This is pretty simple in terms of magick because so much of what we magicians do is simply create. This is just another round of magick, bringing our desires into being.

3 steps. Get in the right place, call up your designs and touch them up, and create. So now what…?

& The Rest

…Now you get to just let them be and do what you have designed them to do. This is the step that trips so many people up about magick. The trust part. The magick has been done at this point, all that is left is keeping your creations “alive” and trusting them to function as you have intended.

My spiders are programmed to attach to others and stay with them. But until someone comes along begging for an astral gift by bumping a bit too unsubtly into my space, they just hang out with me. One of them has taken to crawling up my back until I shiver, another likes to perch and stare out into the astral. Sometimes I check in to make sure everything is still running as intended or nudge my spiders into movement, stillness, or communication, but for the most part they mind themselves well.

I do feel when they walk a bit too fast, or leave, but I don’t really feel them much at all otherwise unless I’m trying to. Of course, as their creator I can trace them and they can probably be linked back to me. But they cannot effect me in the way something feeding from me does if another person tries to manipulate them and they cannot really hurt me either. They are made of and from me, I cannot “poison” myself no matter who is trying to command that into being.

So for the most part, I just live my life and trust that my little spider parasites are living theirs as best they can. Sometimes, I might get a “notification” that one is being, or has been gifted, and other times I might have to check in before I realize one is missing from my space. So far, two people have earned themselves a parasite from me. The other creatures I made get to stay a while longer and we can learn from each other a bit more before they, too, are heartfelt gifts from me to someone who should probably learn to respect boundaries.

With regard to maintenance, I don’t do a lot of upkeep on my spiders, but occasionally I might send out a little energy pulse to them all (with me and gifted already). They are meant to act as parasites which sometimes comes with the risk of being attacked by others, so while they are great, useful, and fun to have around, they aren’t pets. Letting them be and go as they’re programmed to is important. That’s really all there is to it… give them a power-boost when they seem a little down, teach and learn from the sidelines, and trust.

If you are interested in working together to make similar astral creatures for you, check out the Ritual for Hire page and send a message!