Deserving & Worthiness in My Practice
I threw those words away a long time ago and I never want to look back. What a nightmare pair of words for magicians complicate things with.
If we, as a human society, refuse to believe everything is ‘fair,’ how are these words acceptable in magick? They’re not. One of the best things I did for my craft was remove deserving and worth from it and from my mind entirely. They have no place where I’m practicing and no home in my mind. Absolutely garbage concepts that eat away at magick and poke holes in everything.
So my view is, “I want what I want, so it’s mine.” And it’s been pretty good for me. That way, it doesn’t matter what I think and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, all the power is in the magick and not stopping up holes about whether I “should” or “shouldn’t” have something based on faulty grounds. Because if I’m concerned with deservingness, with worthiness, there could be holes everywhere.
If these two words are a culmination of what we have, what we’ve done, who we are, who we want to be, etc., then I don’t want to deal with them. I know who I have been and I know what I have done, and I don’t care to entertain thoughts on whether that makes me deserving or worthy or not of anything. It’s not relevant. It doesn’t get a place at the table.
Mundane & Magick
Some people are overly interested in what they have earned. It’s one of the first things that I discuss with people who show an interest in magick, but also something I talk frequently about with those who find themselves on a mundane-mostly or mundane-only path. People talk about having “earned” a vacation, a fancy object they want, and all manner of other things.
People feel pride in their earnings a lot of time, and I don’t think this is inherently bad or wrong. But I do believe that it comes with a cost to believe that everything must be earned. This is especially relevant in magick where we are not only manipulating the very real and material world, but also working on other planes with less tangible means to deserve, earn, and become worthy.
Once we believe we are enough, there’s no need to tack on additional conditions to our magick. The principles that apply in the mundane world, surrounding the necessity to have earned, to deserve, to be worth are often conditions imposed by others. And so when we turn to magick, it’s important to recognize that there are no longer others (at least in my practice) who are imposing requirements of that kind. As long as I don’t, then they don’t exist and are entirely irrelevant and unnecessary.
When you fall into the trap of believing that you must deserve or be worthy of something, you are dismissing your power and disintegrating it to soot and ash. Earn what you must, be worthy of yourself and feel deserving of your life and all you have. These things are no the issue; the issue is when people lay these down as a foundational stone to their magick requests. Ask, why do you need to be worthy and deserving? Is there a real reason?
It can be a somewhat difficult process to let go of these and readjust your framing of your magick, but it’s well worth it. The only role of deserving & worthiness at the table of magick is to criticize, delay, and obstruct. Is that something you wish to engage in when pleading, requesting, or demanding something of the universe (or a spirit, yourself, etc.)?
Shadow Work
There are a few places in this post where shadow work might be relevant. Many mundane-mostly or mundane-only folks struggle with the concepts outlined in this post, the shirking of the stress of being enough, deserving, worthy. For those of us who practice magick, it’s even more important to understand our relationship to these and move it in a direction that is healthy and empowering.
I’m not here to walk anyone through shadow work, but I do suggest to those interested that they read the post slowly and flag places that make them uncomfortable, upset, or curious. Later, to go through these with calm and seek out understanding of the self. Once you understand, you can work on healing and change.
you are enough, let your magick be founded on this understanding
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